Bloodsucking Fiends

Bloodsucking Fiends

  • Release: 2009-12-15
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster
  • Price: FREE
  • File: PDF, 304 page
  • ISBN: 9781439191491
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Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life—and afterlife—in ways he never thought possible.

Bloodsucking Fiends

Bloodsucking Fiends

  • Release: 2009-11-05
  • Publisher: Hachette UK
  • Price: FREE
  • File: PDF, 368 page
  • ISBN: 9780748114450
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Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching neck, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realises the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful, undead redhead walks through the door ... and proceeds to rock Tommy's life - and afterlife - in ways he never imagined possible.

Bite Me

Bite Me

  • Release: 2010-03-23
  • Publisher: Harper Collins
  • Price: FREE
  • File: PDF, 352 page
  • ISBN: 9780061986161
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“Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word.” —Carl Hiaasen The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore’s wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moore’s latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilight—but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, “Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination” from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver’s Rocky Mountain News to declare him, “the 21st century’s best satirist.”

Bloodsucking Fiends

Bloodsucking Fiends

  • Release: 2009-12-15
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster
  • Price: FREE
  • File: PDF, 304 page
  • ISBN: 9781439191491
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Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life—and afterlife—in ways he never thought possible.

You Suck

You Suck

  • Release: 2009-09-17
  • Publisher: Hachette UK
  • Price: FREE
  • File: PDF, 320 page
  • ISBN: 9780748114504
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Being undead sucks. Literally. Just ask C. Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue. And that really sucks.

Coyote Blue

Coyote Blue

  • Release: 2009-12-15
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster
  • Price: FREE
  • File: PDF, 320 page
  • ISBN: 1439191484
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From master of subversive humor Christopher Moore comes a quirky, irreverent novel of love, myth, metaphysics, outlaw biking, angst, and outrageous redemption. As a boy, he was Samson Hunts Alone—until a deadly misunderstanding with the law forced him to flee the Crow reservation at age fifteen. Today he is Samuel Hunter, a successful Santa Barbara insurance salesman with a Mercedes, a condo, and a hollow, invented life. Then one day, destiny offers him the dangerous gift of love—in the exquisite form of Calliope Kincaid—and a curse in the unheralded appearance of an ancient god by the name of Coyote. Coyote, the trickster, has arrived to reawaken the mystical storyteller within Sam...and to seriously screw up his existence in the process.

Suck It Up

Suck It Up

  • Release: 2008-05-13
  • Publisher: Delacorte Books for Young Readers
  • Price: FREE
  • File: PDF, 336 page
  • ISBN: 9780375848940
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ARE YOU UP to your neck in bloodsucking vampire stories? Tired of those tales about dentally enhanced dark lords? Before I wrote this book I thought all vampires were night-stalking, fangpopping, bloodsucking fiends. Then I met Morning McCobb. He’s a vegan vampire who drinks a soy-blood substitute called Blood Lite. He believes staking should be a hate crime. And someday he hopes to march in a Vampire Pride Parade. He was also the first vampire to out himself and try to show people of mortality, like you and me, that vampires are just another minority with special needs. Trust me—this is like no other vampire book you’ll ever feed on. So, as my buddy Morning says, “Pop the lid, and suck it up.” From the Hardcover edition.

Abigail Rath Versus Bloodsucking Fiends

Abigail Rath Versus Bloodsucking Fiends

  • Release: 2020-04-08
  • Publisher:
  • Price: FREE
  • File: PDF, 228 page
  • ISBN: 9798635422656
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At thirteen years old, Abigail Rath knows she is a lean, mean, monster-hunting machine, just like her mom and dad. After all, she's learned everything she knows from the horror movies her dad has starred in. When her best friend Vince comes to her with news he's being stalked by a vampire, her professional opinion is they should go out and stake him.It turns out that Abby's monster hunting parents haven't been entirely straightforward with Abby about what being a monster hunter means. Alarmed at Abby's behavior, Abby is grounded and both Abby and her parents try to introduce more normalcy into Abby's life. At the same time, odd things start happening at school to Abby's friends. What should Abby do about the new supernatural creatures in her life, now that she doesn't know exactly what the rules are? How can she protect her friends and her family without continually getting detention? And how will she survive her mother taking her to the mall?

Nuclear Jellyfish

Nuclear Jellyfish

  • Release: 2009-10-06
  • Publisher: Harper Collins
  • Price: FREE
  • File: PDF, 320 page
  • ISBN: 0061984639
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“Dorsey’s brilliantly, profanely funny 11th novel…zips along like P.G. Wodehouse’s best work.” —Richmond Times-Dispatch Tim Dorsey’s outrageously zany, gleefully violent, and uproariously funny Nuclear Jellyfish marks the triumphant return of lovable, thrill-killing Florida historian and tireless civic booster Serge A. Storms. The bestselling author of Atomic Lobster, Triggerfish Twist, and Florida Roadkill, Dorsey can match Carl Hiaasen punch-for-punch when it comes to fictionally depicting Sunshine State madness—and he’s taken his rightful place alongside Christopher Moore in the pantheon of top American humorists. Nuclear Jellyfish is a veritable WMD of radioactive hilarity—as Denver’s Rocky Mountain News so aptly puts it, “It doesn’t get any better.”

Island of the Sequined Love Nun

Island of the Sequined Love Nun

  • Release: 2009-03-17
  • Publisher: Harper Collins
  • Price: FREE
  • File: PDF, 336 page
  • ISBN: 9780061804755
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Take a wonderfully crazed excursion into the demented heart of a tropical paradise—a world of cargo cults, cannibals, mad scientists, ninjas, and talking fruit bats. Our bumbling hero is Tucker Case, a hopeless geek trapped in a cool guy's body, who makes a living as a pilot for the Mary Jean Cosmetics Corporation. But when he demolishes his boss's pink plane during a drunken airborne liaison, Tuck must run for his life from Mary Jean's goons. Now there's only one employment opportunity left for him: piloting shady secret missions for an unscrupulous medical missionary and a sexy blond high priestess on the remotest of Micronesian hells. Here is a brazen, ingenious, irreverent, and wickedly funny novel from a modern master of the outrageous.